When The Group Chat Goes Dark

You are sitting there, phone vibrating in your hand, and someone drops a 'joke' that makes your stomach do a backflip. You know the one. It is that micro-aggression disguised as humor, or a flat-out insult to someone’s identity. Your thumb hovers over the screen. It is so much easier to just let it slide, to send a neutral emoji or just stop reading. But letting it slide is how the bars of inequality get reinforced. We talk a big game about systemic change, but systemic change is just a bunch of individual choices stacked on top of each other like bricks.

Look, I get it. Nobody wants to be the 'buzzkill' of the friend group. You do not want to be the one who makes things awkward. But if your peace is built on someone else’s exclusion, that peace is a total lie. Being a mentor in your own life means realizing that silence is actually a very loud form of permission. When you do not say anything, you are telling everyone in that chat that what was said is acceptable. You are basically signing off on the idea that some people matter less than others. That is not the vibe we are going for in 2025.

Taking a stand does not mean you have to write a ten-page manifesto or start a digital war. Sometimes, it is as simple as saying, 'Hey, that is actually not funny,' or 'I do not get why that is a joke.' It puts the burden of explanation back on the person being weird. It forces a moment of reflection. You are not just being a hater; you are holding a standard for the kind of world you actually want to inhabit. It takes actual guts to do this, but guts are like muscles—they only get stronger when you use them.

Real-talk: if they are actually your friends, they will hear you. If they get defensive and start gaslighting you, then you have just learned something very important about who you are hanging out with. You deserve a circle that values the same level of respect that you do. Do not lower your bar just to fit into a room that was built to exclude people. Stand your ground, keep your head up, and remember that justice is a daily practice, not just a hashtag you post once a year when it is trending.