The Courage To Be Disliked

There is this deep human need to be liked. We want to fit in, to be part of the tribe, to avoid conflict. But if you want to stand for justice, you have to get comfortable with being the 'difficult' person in the room. You have to be okay with the fact that some people are going to roll their eyes when you speak up. They might call you sensitive, or tell you to 'chill out.' They might stop inviting you to certain things. This is the price of integrity, and honestly, it is a price worth paying.

When you prioritize being liked over being right, you are sacrificing your values for a temporary sense of security. It is a bad trade. The people who get annoyed by your commitment to equality are usually the ones who benefit from the status quo. Their discomfort is not your problem to solve. In fact, their discomfort is often a sign that you are actually hitting a nerve that needs to be hit. Change does not happen in a comfort zone. It happens when things get a little friction-heavy.

Think about the people who came before us. None of the rights we have today were won by people who were trying to be 'polite' and 'agreeable' to their oppressors. They were won by people who were willing to be called names, to be ostracized, and to be misunderstood. You do not have to be a martyr, but you do have to have a backbone. You have to decide which is more important: a shallow friendship with someone who ignores injustice, or a deep respect for yourself and your principles.

This does not mean you should be a jerk. You can be firm and kind at the same time. But kindness does not mean being a doormat. It means having enough respect for the other person to tell them the truth, even if it hurts their feelings. It means having enough respect for the victims of injustice to refuse to be a bystander. If standing up for what is right makes you 'unlikeable' to some people, then you are probably in the wrong company anyway. Find your people—the ones who value your fire.