Breathing Through Conflict

Conflict is unavoidable. We are all different people with different histories, and eventually, we are going to rub each other the wrong way. The question is not how to avoid conflict, but how to be kind while we are in it. It is very easy to be nice when everything is going well. The real test of character is how you treat someone when you are angry, hurt, or fundamentally disagree with them.

In the spirit of National Kindness Week 2026, I am practicing the 'compassionate pause.' When someone says something that triggers me, I take one full breath before responding. That breath is the gap where my humanity lives. It gives me enough time to remember that the person in front of me is also struggling, also flawed, and probably also acting out of fear. It prevents me from saying something I will regret.

Kindness in conflict looks like active curiosity. Instead of trying to win the argument, try to understand why the other person feels the way they do. Ask questions. Use 'I' statements. Keep your voice at a regulated level. By staying calm, you invite them to stay calm too. You prevent a simple disagreement from turning into a war. You prioritize the relationship over being 'right.'

It is okay to walk away if things get too heated. In fact, taking a break is often the kindest thing you can do for both of you. It prevents unnecessary damage. But come back when you are regulated. Show the other person that you still value them even if the situation is difficult. That kind of resilience is what builds deep, lasting bonds between people.