A Liturgy for Small Corrosions
In a damp Glasgow flat, a disagreement over a single, supposedly cursed teaspoon escalates into a ritualistic standoff, testing the boundary between superstition and affection.
# A Liturgy for Small Corrosions
**Format:** Short Film / Anthology Episode | **Est. Length:** 10-12 minutes
## Logline
On a dreary morning, a sleep-deprived man’s simple quest for coffee is derailed by his eccentric flatmate, who insists the only clean teaspoon is cursed, escalating their domestic squabble into a ridiculous, salt-flinging exorcism that ultimately reaffirms their bond.
## Themes
* **The Absurdity of Domestic Conflict:** How minor disagreements over mundane objects can escalate into elaborate, irrational battles when fueled by personality quirks and close quarters.
* **Belief vs. Pragmatism:** The tension between a mystical, feeling-based worldview and a logical, needs-based one, and how cohabitation forces these two perspectives to collide.
* **Ritual and Meaning in the Mundane:** The human tendency to imbue everyday objects and routines with significance, creating personal mythologies to navigate the monotony of daily life.
* **Annoyance as a Form of Intimacy:** How the freedom to be profoundly irritating to one another without consequence is a hallmark of a deep and trusting relationship.
## Stakes
At stake is the fragile morning peace and easy intimacy between two flatmates, as a ridiculous argument threatens to curdle into genuine resentment if they can't find a way to laugh at themselves.
## Synopsis
In the cold, quiet kitchen of their shared flat, LIAM (20s) is on the verge of making his first coffee of the day. His simple goal is thwarted by his flatmate, FINN (20s), who calmly declares that the only clean teaspoon has a "malevolent aura" and cannot be used. Liam, a pragmatist running on fumes, dismisses this as nonsense.
Finn, however, doubles down on his theatrical superstition, warning of curdled milk and a day filled with low-grade misfortune. The disagreement escalates from a verbal debate into a clumsy physical standoff at the cutlery drawer. Just as Liam is about to overpower him, Finn breaks away and grabs a salt cellar, performing an impromptu "cleansing ritual" by sprinkling a circle of salt on the lino floor to contain the spoon's evil influence.
This act of pure absurdity is the final straw for Liam. With a roar of exasperation, he breaks the circle, snatches the "cursed" spoon, and brandishes it like a trophy. A ridiculous chase ensues around the small kitchen. The chaos ends when Liam slips on the salt, sending them both tumbling to the floor in a tangle of limbs.
Lying on the cold, salt-strewn floor, the tension shatters. A giggle escapes Finn, which triggers a snort from Liam, and soon they are both consumed by helpless, cathartic laughter at the sheer stupidity of their fight. The argument dissolves, leaving behind a moment of quiet intimacy. Liam suggests they get breakfast out, and Finn agrees—on the sole condition that they leave the spoon inside its salt circle, just in case.
## Character Breakdown
* **LIAM (20s):** Pragmatic, grounded, and not a morning person. His patience is thin, but his exasperation with Finn is underpinned by a deep, unspoken affection. He is the audience's anchor to reality.
* **Psychological Arc:**
* **State at start:** Groggy and single-minded, viewing Finn's eccentricities as a frustrating obstacle to his immediate need for caffeine. His focus is on winning the argument through logic.
* **State at end:** His frustration has transformed into shared amusement. He has moved from seeing the situation as a conflict to an absurd memory, embracing the ridiculousness as part of the fabric of his friendship with Finn and reaffirming their bond.
* **FINN (20s):** Theatrical, whimsical, and lives in a world slightly adjacent to reality. He commits fully to his dramatic beliefs, whether he genuinely holds them or simply enjoys the performance. He is the catalyst for the chaos.
## Scene Beats
1. **THE PROHIBITION:** Liam, desperate for coffee, reaches for the only clean teaspoon. Finn calmly forbids it, citing its "malevolent aura."
2. **THE DEBATE:** Liam attempts to reason with logic ("The flat is cold"). Finn counters with escalating supernatural warnings ("It might curdle the milk!").
3. **THE STRUGGLE:** Liam makes a move for the spoon. A clumsy, sleepy struggle ensues as Finn physically blocks the drawer.
4. **THE RITUAL:** Breaking the stalemate, Finn grabs the salt cellar and meticulously creates a "circle of purification" on the floor around the drawer.
5. **THE DESECRATION:** Pushed beyond his limit by the absurdity, Liam breaks the circle, yanks open the drawer, and triumphantly snatches the spoon.
6. **THE CHASE:** Liam brandishes the spoon while Finn makes frantic grabs for it in a ridiculous, circling dance around the kitchen.
7. **THE COLLAPSE:** Liam slips on the scattered salt. He and Finn tumble to the floor in a heap of limbs and dressing gowns.
8. **THE CATHARSIS:** The absurdity of their position hits them. The tension breaks, and they erupt into helpless, shared laughter.
9. **THE TRUCE:** The laughter subsides into a quiet, intimate moment. Liam suggests getting breakfast out. Finn agrees, but only if the spoon remains "contained," preserving the magic of their morning's madness.
## Visual Style & Tone
The visual style is naturalistic and grounded, set within the cramped, lived-in reality of a typical British flat. The lighting should feel authentic to an overcast morning, with cool, blue light filtering through the kitchen window. The camera work will be largely observational and intimate, using handheld shots during the struggle and chase to heighten the gentle chaos, contrasting with static shots that emphasize the absurdity of the salt ritual.
The tone is a blend of character-driven British comedy and contained, surrealist drama. It is witty, warm, and finds humor in the mundane. Tonally, it aligns with the domestic intimacy and charm of Richard Curtis's quieter moments (*About Time*), the single-location absurdity of a chamber piece, and the playful, deadpan surrealism of shows like *Flowers* or *Detectorists*.
**Format:** Short Film / Anthology Episode | **Est. Length:** 10-12 minutes
## Logline
On a dreary morning, a sleep-deprived man’s simple quest for coffee is derailed by his eccentric flatmate, who insists the only clean teaspoon is cursed, escalating their domestic squabble into a ridiculous, salt-flinging exorcism that ultimately reaffirms their bond.
## Themes
* **The Absurdity of Domestic Conflict:** How minor disagreements over mundane objects can escalate into elaborate, irrational battles when fueled by personality quirks and close quarters.
* **Belief vs. Pragmatism:** The tension between a mystical, feeling-based worldview and a logical, needs-based one, and how cohabitation forces these two perspectives to collide.
* **Ritual and Meaning in the Mundane:** The human tendency to imbue everyday objects and routines with significance, creating personal mythologies to navigate the monotony of daily life.
* **Annoyance as a Form of Intimacy:** How the freedom to be profoundly irritating to one another without consequence is a hallmark of a deep and trusting relationship.
## Stakes
At stake is the fragile morning peace and easy intimacy between two flatmates, as a ridiculous argument threatens to curdle into genuine resentment if they can't find a way to laugh at themselves.
## Synopsis
In the cold, quiet kitchen of their shared flat, LIAM (20s) is on the verge of making his first coffee of the day. His simple goal is thwarted by his flatmate, FINN (20s), who calmly declares that the only clean teaspoon has a "malevolent aura" and cannot be used. Liam, a pragmatist running on fumes, dismisses this as nonsense.
Finn, however, doubles down on his theatrical superstition, warning of curdled milk and a day filled with low-grade misfortune. The disagreement escalates from a verbal debate into a clumsy physical standoff at the cutlery drawer. Just as Liam is about to overpower him, Finn breaks away and grabs a salt cellar, performing an impromptu "cleansing ritual" by sprinkling a circle of salt on the lino floor to contain the spoon's evil influence.
This act of pure absurdity is the final straw for Liam. With a roar of exasperation, he breaks the circle, snatches the "cursed" spoon, and brandishes it like a trophy. A ridiculous chase ensues around the small kitchen. The chaos ends when Liam slips on the salt, sending them both tumbling to the floor in a tangle of limbs.
Lying on the cold, salt-strewn floor, the tension shatters. A giggle escapes Finn, which triggers a snort from Liam, and soon they are both consumed by helpless, cathartic laughter at the sheer stupidity of their fight. The argument dissolves, leaving behind a moment of quiet intimacy. Liam suggests they get breakfast out, and Finn agrees—on the sole condition that they leave the spoon inside its salt circle, just in case.
## Character Breakdown
* **LIAM (20s):** Pragmatic, grounded, and not a morning person. His patience is thin, but his exasperation with Finn is underpinned by a deep, unspoken affection. He is the audience's anchor to reality.
* **Psychological Arc:**
* **State at start:** Groggy and single-minded, viewing Finn's eccentricities as a frustrating obstacle to his immediate need for caffeine. His focus is on winning the argument through logic.
* **State at end:** His frustration has transformed into shared amusement. He has moved from seeing the situation as a conflict to an absurd memory, embracing the ridiculousness as part of the fabric of his friendship with Finn and reaffirming their bond.
* **FINN (20s):** Theatrical, whimsical, and lives in a world slightly adjacent to reality. He commits fully to his dramatic beliefs, whether he genuinely holds them or simply enjoys the performance. He is the catalyst for the chaos.
## Scene Beats
1. **THE PROHIBITION:** Liam, desperate for coffee, reaches for the only clean teaspoon. Finn calmly forbids it, citing its "malevolent aura."
2. **THE DEBATE:** Liam attempts to reason with logic ("The flat is cold"). Finn counters with escalating supernatural warnings ("It might curdle the milk!").
3. **THE STRUGGLE:** Liam makes a move for the spoon. A clumsy, sleepy struggle ensues as Finn physically blocks the drawer.
4. **THE RITUAL:** Breaking the stalemate, Finn grabs the salt cellar and meticulously creates a "circle of purification" on the floor around the drawer.
5. **THE DESECRATION:** Pushed beyond his limit by the absurdity, Liam breaks the circle, yanks open the drawer, and triumphantly snatches the spoon.
6. **THE CHASE:** Liam brandishes the spoon while Finn makes frantic grabs for it in a ridiculous, circling dance around the kitchen.
7. **THE COLLAPSE:** Liam slips on the scattered salt. He and Finn tumble to the floor in a heap of limbs and dressing gowns.
8. **THE CATHARSIS:** The absurdity of their position hits them. The tension breaks, and they erupt into helpless, shared laughter.
9. **THE TRUCE:** The laughter subsides into a quiet, intimate moment. Liam suggests getting breakfast out. Finn agrees, but only if the spoon remains "contained," preserving the magic of their morning's madness.
## Visual Style & Tone
The visual style is naturalistic and grounded, set within the cramped, lived-in reality of a typical British flat. The lighting should feel authentic to an overcast morning, with cool, blue light filtering through the kitchen window. The camera work will be largely observational and intimate, using handheld shots during the struggle and chase to heighten the gentle chaos, contrasting with static shots that emphasize the absurdity of the salt ritual.
The tone is a blend of character-driven British comedy and contained, surrealist drama. It is witty, warm, and finds humor in the mundane. Tonally, it aligns with the domestic intimacy and charm of Richard Curtis's quieter moments (*About Time*), the single-location absurdity of a chamber piece, and the playful, deadpan surrealism of shows like *Flowers* or *Detectorists*.