The Improbable Departure of the Rusty Valiant
An unexpected package, a cryptic invitation, and a peculiar antique map plunge Benji into an impromptu summer journey with Bernard, whose eccentric charm hides a deeper mystery.
## Introduction
"The Improbable Departure of the Rusty Valiant" presents a compelling examination of the friction between a meticulously ordered existence and the sudden, chaotic intrusion of the unknown. The chapter functions as a psychological and allegorical overture, exploring how the architecture of a quiet life can be dismantled by a single, improbable invitation.
## Thematic, Genre & Narrative Analysis
This chapter masterfully blends the mundane with the magical, situating itself in the fertile ground of literary fiction with strong undercurrents of magical realism. The central thematic conflict is the perennial tension between order and chaos, predictability and adventure, embodied by its two central characters. The narrative delves into the existential question of what constitutes a life well-lived: is it the quiet comfort of a known routine, or the "gloriously impractical" pursuit of the unknown? The story suggests that the "hum of the mundane" is not a neutral state but an active pressure, a form of living death that Bernard seeks to escape and from which he intends to rescue Benji. This rescue mission forms the core of the narrative's moral dimension, questioning whether it is ethical or even kind to forcibly disrupt another's carefully constructed peace for the sake of a perceived higher state of being.
The narrative voice is a crucial element of this exploration, adhering closely to Benji’s third-person limited perspective. This choice confines the reader to his consciousness, forcing us to experience the unfolding events through his filter of skepticism, irritation, and nascent curiosity. We are privy to his precise, almost fussy internal monologue, from his assessment of twine snagging on a hangnail to his preference for Darjeeling tea. This perceptual limit means that Bernard's true motivations and the literal reality of the map and key remain ambiguous and slightly threatening. The narrator reliably reports Benji's sensory and emotional experience but is, like Benji himself, an unreliable interpreter of the story's fantastical elements, framing them as "ridiculous," "absurd," and possibly a form of "performance art." This gap between what Benji perceives and what might actually be happening creates a sustained, compelling narrative tension.
## Character Deep Dive
### Benji
**Psychological State:**
Benji begins the chapter in a state of carefully maintained equilibrium, a psychological homeostasis built on precision and predictability. The arrival of the parcel is an immediate disruption, introducing suspicion and irritation into his quiet afternoon. His initial reactions are governed by a need to classify and control the unknown, attempting to fit the whimsical map into the familiar category of a student's art project. As Bernard's whirlwind presence overwhelms his study, Benji's state shifts to one of besieged anxiety and intellectual resistance, culminating in the physical manifestation of a brewing migraine. By the chapter's end, crammed into the Valiant and plunged into darkness, his psychological state has devolved into profound uncertainty and a dawning, terrifying awareness of his own powerlessness.
**Mental Health Assessment:**
Benji does not present as a character with a clinical disorder but rather as one with an exceptionally rigid psychological structure. His mental health is predicated on the exclusion of chaos and ambiguity. His coping mechanisms are intellectualization and routine; he catalogues, he analyzes, he plans his tea. These habits function as a defense mechanism against the anxieties of an unpredictable world. His resilience is low when confronted with spontaneity, and his physical discomfort—the stiff bending, the throbbing hip—serves as a somatic expression of his psychological inflexibility. He is a man who has constructed his life like a fortress to keep existential dread at bay, and Bernard has just breached the main gate.
**Motivations & Drivers:**
On the surface, Benji's motivation is simple: to restore order and return to the comforting solitude of his armchair with a cup of tea. He is driven by a deep-seated need for control and a belief in the virtue of a sensible, logical existence. However, his ultimate decision to get into the car, despite his protests, reveals a deeper, perhaps subconscious driver. The "tiny, almost imperceptible spark of curiosity" suggests a latent dissatisfaction with his own fossilized existence. He is motivated, perhaps, by a final, flickering desire to know if Bernard's world of "improbable" adventure holds any truth before it is too late.
**Hopes & Fears:**
Benji's most immediate hope is for a swift end to the disruption, for Bernard to leave and for his afternoon to be salvaged. He hopes that this entire affair is a joke or a misunderstanding that can be neatly resolved. His fears, however, are far more profound. He fears chaos, physical discomfort, and the loss of agency. The final scene reveals his deepest fear: that the journey's destination, 'Away,' is not a physical place but a dissolution of the self he has so carefully constructed. He is afraid of the unknown, but perhaps even more afraid of discovering that his orderly, sensible life has been an elaborate act of hiding.
### Bernard
**Psychological State:**
Bernard exists in a state of exuberant, purposeful energy. His entrance is a whirlwind, his speech is performative, and his actions are driven by an unwavering, almost manic conviction. He is the embodiment of chaotic good, operating on a plane of artistic and philosophical certainty that leaves little room for practical objections. This boisterous energy is his default mode, a charismatic force designed to sweep others along. Yet, as they drive into the wilderness, a "quiet intensity" emerges, suggesting that beneath the performance lies a deeply serious purpose. In the final moments, his unreadable expression reveals a man who has now arrived at the true, solemn beginning of his mission.
**Mental Health Assessment:**
Bernard's mental health is characterized by high resilience, a profound tolerance for ambiguity, and an almost pathological aversion to mundanity. He appears robust and optimistic, using humour and grand gestures as his primary tools for navigating the world. However, his relentless forward momentum and his philosophical pronouncements about escaping the "static" could be interpreted as a form of avoidance. He seems to be running from the quiet anxieties of aging and meaninglessness by constantly creating motion and spectacle. His well-being is tied not to stability, but to a perpetual state of becoming and journeying.
**Motivations & Drivers:**
Bernard's stated motivation is to "spirit away" his friend on an adventure, to answer the "call to the improbable." He is driven by a powerful artistic and romantic worldview that sees life as something to be actively shaped into a story. His deeper motivation appears to be a genuine, if somewhat reckless, love for Benji. He sees his friend as a "magnificent old fossil" and believes he is offering him a form of salvation—a chance to "dream of flight" before being permanently encased in the stone of his own routines. He is driven to share his vision of a more vibrant reality.
**Hopes & Fears:**
Bernard hopes to successfully initiate Benji into his world, to see the spark of curiosity he ignites catch fire. He hopes that the journey to 'Away' will be a shared, transformative experience that validates his entire philosophy of life. His greatest fear is stagnation. He fears the "insistent whisper of ‘should’ and ‘must’" not just for himself, but for those he cares about. He is terrified of a quiet, orderly end, and his entire escapade can be seen as a grand, desperate rebellion against the perceived tyranny of a predictable life and a gentle death.
## Emotional Architecture
The emotional landscape of the chapter is constructed through a carefully orchestrated series of contrasts and escalations. It begins in a state of low, quiet tension—Benji's suspicion towards the anonymous parcel—which establishes a baseline of meticulous, controlled emotion. Bernard’s arrival shatters this calm, injecting a high-frequency, chaotic emotional energy into the narrative. The clamour of the Valiant, the off-key honk, and Bernard's booming voice create a sensory assault that mirrors Benji's internal state of being overwhelmed. The emotional architecture is one of escalating disruption.
The emotional transfer to the reader is managed through the tight psychic distance to Benji. We feel his irritation at the snagged twine, his unease at Bernard’s cryptic pronouncements, and his physical discomfort in the rattling car. The author uses precise sensory details to ground these emotions: the "faint, metallic thud" of the parcel, the smell of "turpentine, stale coffee, and optimism," and the sound of branches like "skeletal fingers dragging across a blackboard." These details do not just describe the scene; they build Benji's affective reality. The journey itself provides a fluctuating emotional rhythm, moving between the high stress of the ditch incident and the "strange, almost childlike wonder" of the dappled sunlight, before culminating in the profound, unnerving silence of the final clearing. This sudden absence of noise creates the chapter's most potent emotional moment, transforming the adventure from a whimsical jaunt into something far more serious and unsettling.
## Spatial & Environmental Psychology
The physical spaces in this chapter are not mere backdrops but are active participants in the psychological drama. Benji's study, with its "orderly bookshelf" and antique globe, is a clear metaphor for his mind—a curated, catalogued, and inwardly-focused world. It is his sanctuary of control. Bernard’s bursting through the door without knocking is therefore not just a social faux pas but a psychological violation, a breaching of Benji's primary defense system. The house itself, shrinking in the rearview mirror, represents the receding world of safety, logic, and known identity.
The Rusty Valiant serves as a crucial transitional space, a liminal vessel that is neither here nor there. Its physical state—rusty, unreliable, uncomfortable, and smelling of "optimism"—perfectly mirrors the journey's nature. It is an anti-sanctuary, a space that forces its occupants to "embrace the discomfort" and relinquish control. The shift in the external environment, from manicured suburbs to unpaved logging roads and finally to a primeval forest, mirrors the progression of Benji's internal state. He is being physically transported from a tamed, domesticated landscape to an untamed, wild one, paralleling his forced journey away from his domesticated self. The final clearing, plunged into darkness, is the ultimate psychological space: a void where external signifiers are erased, forcing a confrontation with the internal unknown.
## Aesthetic, Stylistic, & Symbolic Mechanics
The author’s prose is precise and evocative, employing a style that mirrors the central conflict. Benji’s perceptions are rendered in sharp, specific language ("polished loafer," "unsolicited tax forms"), while descriptions associated with Bernard are more fluid and metaphorical ("a halo of benevolent static," "a sound like dry leaves skittering across pavement"). This stylistic duality reinforces the characters' opposing worldviews. The rhythm of the sentences often reflects the action; the initial paragraphs are measured and deliberate, while the prose becomes more hurried and jarring with Bernard's arrival and the tumultuous car ride.
Symbolism is deeply woven into the narrative fabric. The parcel, arriving without a postmark, represents an intrusion from a world outside the logical systems Benji understands. The map, with its "impossible topographies," is a symbol of a different kind of knowledge—intuitive, artistic, and unconcerned with empirical reality. The brass key is a classic archetype, a tool for unlocking not just a physical door but a new state of being; its warming in Benji's hand symbolizes the stirring of his own latent potential. The Rusty Valiant itself is the most potent symbol: a relic from another era, defiantly impractical, it represents a mode of being that values character over efficiency, a direct challenge to the modern, ordered world Benji inhabits.
## Cultural & Intertextual Context
"The Improbable Departure of the Rusty Valiant" situates itself within a rich literary tradition of the quest narrative, yet it subverts expectations by focusing on protagonists in the twilight of their lives. The dynamic between the pragmatic, grounded Benji and the idealistic, chaotic Bernard is a classic archetype, echoing pairings like Don Quixote and Sancho Panza or even Vladimir and Estragon, who grapple with existential purpose. The story plays with the tropes of fantasy literature—the mysterious map, the ornate key, the call to adventure—but grounds them in the poignant reality of aging, complete with aching hips and a reliance on digestive biscuits.
There is a distinct echo of the English tradition of pastoral fantasy, where a magical, wilder reality lies just beyond the edges of the mundane world, accessible through a hidden gate or a forgotten path. The journey away from a structured, civilized space into a dark, primordial wood recalls mythic descents into the underworld or the fairy tale trope of getting lost in the forest. By placing this mythic structure within the context of two elderly men in a failing 1970s sedan, the story creates a powerful and touching juxtaposition, suggesting that the call to the "improbable" is not limited by age, only by the willingness to answer.
## Reader Reflection: What Lingers
What lingers long after reading this chapter is the profound and unsettling ambiguity of its final moments. The narrative masterfully shifts from a quirky comedy of manners into something far more existential, leaving the reader suspended with Benji on the precipice of the unknown. The central question—What is 'Away'?—reverberates, resisting any easy answer. Is it a geographical location, a psychological breakthrough, a shared delusion, or an euphemism for death itself? The story provides no comfort, only the deep disquiet of the "impenetrable wall of trees" and the utter darkness.
The emotional afterimage is one of vicarious anxiety mixed with a flicker of excitement. We are left to ponder the nature of Bernard's quest and his ultimate reliability as a guide. Is he a sage leading his friend toward enlightenment, or a fool leading him to oblivion? This uncertainty forces a reflection on our own lives, on the "orderly bookshelves" we construct and the "improbable" invitations we might accept or decline. The story doesn't resolve its central tension; instead, it transfers it to the reader, leaving us to contemplate the terrifying, thrilling possibility of stepping out of the car and into the dark.
## Conclusion
In the end, this chapter is not merely a story about an eccentric road trip but an allegory for the fundamental choice between safety and meaning. The departure of the Rusty Valiant is symbolic of a departure from the self, a deliberate veering off the well-paved road of a predictable life onto the "goat path" of the soul. The chapter's power lies in its suggestion that the greatest adventures are not geographical but psychological, and that the most profound darkness is the one that precedes the discovery of what lies 'Away' from the person we have always believed ourselves to be.
"The Improbable Departure of the Rusty Valiant" presents a compelling examination of the friction between a meticulously ordered existence and the sudden, chaotic intrusion of the unknown. The chapter functions as a psychological and allegorical overture, exploring how the architecture of a quiet life can be dismantled by a single, improbable invitation.
## Thematic, Genre & Narrative Analysis
This chapter masterfully blends the mundane with the magical, situating itself in the fertile ground of literary fiction with strong undercurrents of magical realism. The central thematic conflict is the perennial tension between order and chaos, predictability and adventure, embodied by its two central characters. The narrative delves into the existential question of what constitutes a life well-lived: is it the quiet comfort of a known routine, or the "gloriously impractical" pursuit of the unknown? The story suggests that the "hum of the mundane" is not a neutral state but an active pressure, a form of living death that Bernard seeks to escape and from which he intends to rescue Benji. This rescue mission forms the core of the narrative's moral dimension, questioning whether it is ethical or even kind to forcibly disrupt another's carefully constructed peace for the sake of a perceived higher state of being.
The narrative voice is a crucial element of this exploration, adhering closely to Benji’s third-person limited perspective. This choice confines the reader to his consciousness, forcing us to experience the unfolding events through his filter of skepticism, irritation, and nascent curiosity. We are privy to his precise, almost fussy internal monologue, from his assessment of twine snagging on a hangnail to his preference for Darjeeling tea. This perceptual limit means that Bernard's true motivations and the literal reality of the map and key remain ambiguous and slightly threatening. The narrator reliably reports Benji's sensory and emotional experience but is, like Benji himself, an unreliable interpreter of the story's fantastical elements, framing them as "ridiculous," "absurd," and possibly a form of "performance art." This gap between what Benji perceives and what might actually be happening creates a sustained, compelling narrative tension.
## Character Deep Dive
### Benji
**Psychological State:**
Benji begins the chapter in a state of carefully maintained equilibrium, a psychological homeostasis built on precision and predictability. The arrival of the parcel is an immediate disruption, introducing suspicion and irritation into his quiet afternoon. His initial reactions are governed by a need to classify and control the unknown, attempting to fit the whimsical map into the familiar category of a student's art project. As Bernard's whirlwind presence overwhelms his study, Benji's state shifts to one of besieged anxiety and intellectual resistance, culminating in the physical manifestation of a brewing migraine. By the chapter's end, crammed into the Valiant and plunged into darkness, his psychological state has devolved into profound uncertainty and a dawning, terrifying awareness of his own powerlessness.
**Mental Health Assessment:**
Benji does not present as a character with a clinical disorder but rather as one with an exceptionally rigid psychological structure. His mental health is predicated on the exclusion of chaos and ambiguity. His coping mechanisms are intellectualization and routine; he catalogues, he analyzes, he plans his tea. These habits function as a defense mechanism against the anxieties of an unpredictable world. His resilience is low when confronted with spontaneity, and his physical discomfort—the stiff bending, the throbbing hip—serves as a somatic expression of his psychological inflexibility. He is a man who has constructed his life like a fortress to keep existential dread at bay, and Bernard has just breached the main gate.
**Motivations & Drivers:**
On the surface, Benji's motivation is simple: to restore order and return to the comforting solitude of his armchair with a cup of tea. He is driven by a deep-seated need for control and a belief in the virtue of a sensible, logical existence. However, his ultimate decision to get into the car, despite his protests, reveals a deeper, perhaps subconscious driver. The "tiny, almost imperceptible spark of curiosity" suggests a latent dissatisfaction with his own fossilized existence. He is motivated, perhaps, by a final, flickering desire to know if Bernard's world of "improbable" adventure holds any truth before it is too late.
**Hopes & Fears:**
Benji's most immediate hope is for a swift end to the disruption, for Bernard to leave and for his afternoon to be salvaged. He hopes that this entire affair is a joke or a misunderstanding that can be neatly resolved. His fears, however, are far more profound. He fears chaos, physical discomfort, and the loss of agency. The final scene reveals his deepest fear: that the journey's destination, 'Away,' is not a physical place but a dissolution of the self he has so carefully constructed. He is afraid of the unknown, but perhaps even more afraid of discovering that his orderly, sensible life has been an elaborate act of hiding.
### Bernard
**Psychological State:**
Bernard exists in a state of exuberant, purposeful energy. His entrance is a whirlwind, his speech is performative, and his actions are driven by an unwavering, almost manic conviction. He is the embodiment of chaotic good, operating on a plane of artistic and philosophical certainty that leaves little room for practical objections. This boisterous energy is his default mode, a charismatic force designed to sweep others along. Yet, as they drive into the wilderness, a "quiet intensity" emerges, suggesting that beneath the performance lies a deeply serious purpose. In the final moments, his unreadable expression reveals a man who has now arrived at the true, solemn beginning of his mission.
**Mental Health Assessment:**
Bernard's mental health is characterized by high resilience, a profound tolerance for ambiguity, and an almost pathological aversion to mundanity. He appears robust and optimistic, using humour and grand gestures as his primary tools for navigating the world. However, his relentless forward momentum and his philosophical pronouncements about escaping the "static" could be interpreted as a form of avoidance. He seems to be running from the quiet anxieties of aging and meaninglessness by constantly creating motion and spectacle. His well-being is tied not to stability, but to a perpetual state of becoming and journeying.
**Motivations & Drivers:**
Bernard's stated motivation is to "spirit away" his friend on an adventure, to answer the "call to the improbable." He is driven by a powerful artistic and romantic worldview that sees life as something to be actively shaped into a story. His deeper motivation appears to be a genuine, if somewhat reckless, love for Benji. He sees his friend as a "magnificent old fossil" and believes he is offering him a form of salvation—a chance to "dream of flight" before being permanently encased in the stone of his own routines. He is driven to share his vision of a more vibrant reality.
**Hopes & Fears:**
Bernard hopes to successfully initiate Benji into his world, to see the spark of curiosity he ignites catch fire. He hopes that the journey to 'Away' will be a shared, transformative experience that validates his entire philosophy of life. His greatest fear is stagnation. He fears the "insistent whisper of ‘should’ and ‘must’" not just for himself, but for those he cares about. He is terrified of a quiet, orderly end, and his entire escapade can be seen as a grand, desperate rebellion against the perceived tyranny of a predictable life and a gentle death.
## Emotional Architecture
The emotional landscape of the chapter is constructed through a carefully orchestrated series of contrasts and escalations. It begins in a state of low, quiet tension—Benji's suspicion towards the anonymous parcel—which establishes a baseline of meticulous, controlled emotion. Bernard’s arrival shatters this calm, injecting a high-frequency, chaotic emotional energy into the narrative. The clamour of the Valiant, the off-key honk, and Bernard's booming voice create a sensory assault that mirrors Benji's internal state of being overwhelmed. The emotional architecture is one of escalating disruption.
The emotional transfer to the reader is managed through the tight psychic distance to Benji. We feel his irritation at the snagged twine, his unease at Bernard’s cryptic pronouncements, and his physical discomfort in the rattling car. The author uses precise sensory details to ground these emotions: the "faint, metallic thud" of the parcel, the smell of "turpentine, stale coffee, and optimism," and the sound of branches like "skeletal fingers dragging across a blackboard." These details do not just describe the scene; they build Benji's affective reality. The journey itself provides a fluctuating emotional rhythm, moving between the high stress of the ditch incident and the "strange, almost childlike wonder" of the dappled sunlight, before culminating in the profound, unnerving silence of the final clearing. This sudden absence of noise creates the chapter's most potent emotional moment, transforming the adventure from a whimsical jaunt into something far more serious and unsettling.
## Spatial & Environmental Psychology
The physical spaces in this chapter are not mere backdrops but are active participants in the psychological drama. Benji's study, with its "orderly bookshelf" and antique globe, is a clear metaphor for his mind—a curated, catalogued, and inwardly-focused world. It is his sanctuary of control. Bernard’s bursting through the door without knocking is therefore not just a social faux pas but a psychological violation, a breaching of Benji's primary defense system. The house itself, shrinking in the rearview mirror, represents the receding world of safety, logic, and known identity.
The Rusty Valiant serves as a crucial transitional space, a liminal vessel that is neither here nor there. Its physical state—rusty, unreliable, uncomfortable, and smelling of "optimism"—perfectly mirrors the journey's nature. It is an anti-sanctuary, a space that forces its occupants to "embrace the discomfort" and relinquish control. The shift in the external environment, from manicured suburbs to unpaved logging roads and finally to a primeval forest, mirrors the progression of Benji's internal state. He is being physically transported from a tamed, domesticated landscape to an untamed, wild one, paralleling his forced journey away from his domesticated self. The final clearing, plunged into darkness, is the ultimate psychological space: a void where external signifiers are erased, forcing a confrontation with the internal unknown.
## Aesthetic, Stylistic, & Symbolic Mechanics
The author’s prose is precise and evocative, employing a style that mirrors the central conflict. Benji’s perceptions are rendered in sharp, specific language ("polished loafer," "unsolicited tax forms"), while descriptions associated with Bernard are more fluid and metaphorical ("a halo of benevolent static," "a sound like dry leaves skittering across pavement"). This stylistic duality reinforces the characters' opposing worldviews. The rhythm of the sentences often reflects the action; the initial paragraphs are measured and deliberate, while the prose becomes more hurried and jarring with Bernard's arrival and the tumultuous car ride.
Symbolism is deeply woven into the narrative fabric. The parcel, arriving without a postmark, represents an intrusion from a world outside the logical systems Benji understands. The map, with its "impossible topographies," is a symbol of a different kind of knowledge—intuitive, artistic, and unconcerned with empirical reality. The brass key is a classic archetype, a tool for unlocking not just a physical door but a new state of being; its warming in Benji's hand symbolizes the stirring of his own latent potential. The Rusty Valiant itself is the most potent symbol: a relic from another era, defiantly impractical, it represents a mode of being that values character over efficiency, a direct challenge to the modern, ordered world Benji inhabits.
## Cultural & Intertextual Context
"The Improbable Departure of the Rusty Valiant" situates itself within a rich literary tradition of the quest narrative, yet it subverts expectations by focusing on protagonists in the twilight of their lives. The dynamic between the pragmatic, grounded Benji and the idealistic, chaotic Bernard is a classic archetype, echoing pairings like Don Quixote and Sancho Panza or even Vladimir and Estragon, who grapple with existential purpose. The story plays with the tropes of fantasy literature—the mysterious map, the ornate key, the call to adventure—but grounds them in the poignant reality of aging, complete with aching hips and a reliance on digestive biscuits.
There is a distinct echo of the English tradition of pastoral fantasy, where a magical, wilder reality lies just beyond the edges of the mundane world, accessible through a hidden gate or a forgotten path. The journey away from a structured, civilized space into a dark, primordial wood recalls mythic descents into the underworld or the fairy tale trope of getting lost in the forest. By placing this mythic structure within the context of two elderly men in a failing 1970s sedan, the story creates a powerful and touching juxtaposition, suggesting that the call to the "improbable" is not limited by age, only by the willingness to answer.
## Reader Reflection: What Lingers
What lingers long after reading this chapter is the profound and unsettling ambiguity of its final moments. The narrative masterfully shifts from a quirky comedy of manners into something far more existential, leaving the reader suspended with Benji on the precipice of the unknown. The central question—What is 'Away'?—reverberates, resisting any easy answer. Is it a geographical location, a psychological breakthrough, a shared delusion, or an euphemism for death itself? The story provides no comfort, only the deep disquiet of the "impenetrable wall of trees" and the utter darkness.
The emotional afterimage is one of vicarious anxiety mixed with a flicker of excitement. We are left to ponder the nature of Bernard's quest and his ultimate reliability as a guide. Is he a sage leading his friend toward enlightenment, or a fool leading him to oblivion? This uncertainty forces a reflection on our own lives, on the "orderly bookshelves" we construct and the "improbable" invitations we might accept or decline. The story doesn't resolve its central tension; instead, it transfers it to the reader, leaving us to contemplate the terrifying, thrilling possibility of stepping out of the car and into the dark.
## Conclusion
In the end, this chapter is not merely a story about an eccentric road trip but an allegory for the fundamental choice between safety and meaning. The departure of the Rusty Valiant is symbolic of a departure from the self, a deliberate veering off the well-paved road of a predictable life onto the "goat path" of the soul. The chapter's power lies in its suggestion that the greatest adventures are not geographical but psychological, and that the most profound darkness is the one that precedes the discovery of what lies 'Away' from the person we have always believed ourselves to be.